News of the weird

HIRING PERKS

Will work for ... breast implants?

In a sign of the economic times, an understaffed health clinic in Prague is offering nurses who sign a three-year contract an unusual hiring bonus: breast implants, tummy tucks or liposuction.

"It has been a success," said Jiri Schweitzer, a manager at the Iscare Clinic, told the Australian Associated Press, adding that dozens of applicants had to be turned away.

Czech nurses have been lured out of the country by higher wages in other European nations - but since offering the unique recruiting clause, the clinic has been fully staffed.

The most popular choice among nurses is the breast augmentation, which runs about $4,400 - almost three times a nurse's monthly wage.

In other news, injuries among Czech males 18- 40 have gone up 3,822% in recent months.

BITING WORDS

Choose your words carefully in Meridan, Conn. A police training co-ordinator there has resigned from his job after responding to a co-worker's "bite me" remark by, well, biting her.

Francis Woodruff, retired Waterbury police captain, told state police that he was "horsing around" and only pretended to bite application analyst Rochelle Wyler, according to the Hartford Courant.

Wyler told police Woodruff was teasing her and she sarcastically said, "Whatever Woody, bite me."

Well, the literal lawman did just that and allegedly chomped on her arm - leaving teeth marks and bruising according to a police report.

Awkward.

But the situation would have been more uncomfortable had Wyler said: "Kiss my butt."

DOUGHNUT DEBACLE

Apprarently Krispy Kreme doughnuts do the same thing to the sewer system as they do to your digestive system.

Fairfax, Va., county officials are blaming the doughnut maker for clogging sewers with yeast and grease. They've filed suit after the folks at Krispy Kreme refused to cough up a couple of million dollars for repairs to the system.

The lawsuit says the damage was caused by "excessive quantities of highly corrosive wastes, doughnut grease and other pollutants."

Krispy Kreme says the allegations are unfounded.

In an unappetizing revelation, a nearby county claims it once ran a closed-circuit camera inside a pipe to show the grease deposits, but the camera got stuck in the goop.

Bon appetit!